63 years and counting….

Marriage is not a  ” stand alone  ” ,  not just an event,   not ” this is how it’s gonna be forever “.   Marriage is a journey, and like all journeys, there are twists and turns, mountains and valleys, bumps and slips, stops and goes.

ACT 1  :  Lots of hormones.   Enough said  !!!!    That’s the fun part, the honeymoon part,  the  ” Isn’t she/he just simply the best ? ”  part.   There’s nothing quite like it :  the high, the magic, the thrill, the expectations.

Reminds me a little of the first new car.  Everything is new  and close to perfect.  And it lasts awhile.    But then comes the next Act.

ACT 2  :  A  touch of reality.  He/she really is not perfect, just human.  He’s an early riser/she’s not.  He’s sloppy/she’s meticulous. He’s a nerd/she’s an athlete.   He’s a morning person/ she’s an afternoon person.   He’s focused/ she’s spacey. He eats too much/ she fusses.   He’s reserved/ she’s outgoing——and  on and on and on.  So many ups and too many downs .  But, best case scenario, perseverance prevails.   And then on to Act 3.

ACT 3 :  40s and 50s  ( give or take ) .  Distractions  :  children or no children ; climbing the career ladder ;  giving back to the community that gave to them ; diversity of interests ;  boredom ;   conflicts of politics, faith, and general life goals.  BUT, steadfastness, acceptance, understanding——-and focus on what is truly important :   the relationship itself,  the durability of love and loyalty.   Forward to  Act 4.

ACT 4  : Winding down .   Empty nest,   retirement ( or semi-retirement  ) ,  financial security  (  with a lot of luck and careful planning ),   freedom from outside  ” pulls ” ,  travel  (perhaps),  and ,  if  lucky,   a covey of grandchildren .  But, best of all, getting to know each other again.   Perhaps not the ” magic” but an appreciation for the journey , for the strength of the relationship, and  FOR EACH OTHER.    But the curtain has not yet fallen.  There’s still Act 5.

ACT 5 :  Destination .   The finale,  the culmination,  the  ” Thanks -be-to-God ” ……. surely the purest and truest of all.   The storms have been weathered and the calm, appreciated .  It’s been a long and often tedious ride ,  filled with anticipation and acceptance ,   and  the journey is reaching its destination.  Love and endurance and toleration and determination have remained the driving forces , and  it has been proven …..and proven…..and proven ….. that  “the greatest of these is LOVE ”  !

For sure the curtain call.  And my mother’s favorite perhaps sums it up :

GOD GAVE THE WISE MEN THEIR WISDOM

AND TO THE POETS, THEIR DREAMS.

OUR FATHER AND MOTHER, THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER

AND THEY ALL HAD A SHARE THEN IT SEEMS.

AND I THOUGHT THAT I WAS FORGOTTEN,

THAT LIFE WAS AN EMPTY AFFAIR.

THEN MY DREAM CAME TRUE.

GOD GAVE ME YOU.

AND I KNOW I GOT MORE THAN MY SHARE.

( Author unknown )

 

Post Views: 219